New Work From My Show At Watermark

This painting is entitled "Three Hawks." I hope you can make out the details as it is rather ghostly and impressionistic in the first place. Following is the poem entitled "No One." My hope is that I've not shared this poem before, but I can't remember, and I need to write more poems so I have more to post.

No One

It might be nice to be a cow,
grazing across fields,
the sun setting—and not
to be alone. To gather together
beside the water, to chew
our cuds, our tails wagging
away flies.

But the sun's gone down now.
Hasn't it?
So the flies have gone
to where flies go in the darkness.

But we're together. My brain
humming so slightly in harmony
with the rest. My brain,
no brain of its own; my thoughts
only a blip in the collective.

There is no more
no one.
I do not peer into the vacant,
vast surroundings.
I do not carry my fear and blood
alone—even as I go to slaughter.

I'm Back

I'm back with a healthy, happy jump drive; and a healthy, happy body for that matter, after a bout with the flu. But life is new and wonderful again--even better really as being sick gives me a new perspective on being well--I like it.

Above is a painting for you entitled the obvious, "Dream, Believe, Know," and here's a poem:

Memorizing Brodsky

The man is screaming at me now.
He calls me a cunt, a bitch, a whore.
The wind churns the river black;
my hair is streaming.

Today, I am memorizing Brodsky
a poem for Christmas Eve: snow is falling,
but no snow falls, just leaves contorting in the park,
late March, and this stranger.

There’s liquor on his breath, and I’m afraid.
A one-eyed dog snarls from a fence,
it makes no difference.
My dog sniffs a tree.

And in a language I can hardly understand,
this man fucks me with his words. Licks
them at me until I turn and point
to drive him away.

I look down the brick street
to all the quiet little houses.
No one out clipping lilies, or grasses.
Only emptiness. And me.

Now my dog growls and pulls toward the mutt.
I yank him along.
I want to kick him, to hate him. The man
has disappeared into the trees.

Red with anger
standing now in the street
A car coming, so I step to the side and stare
into the trees looking for a flicker.

Sneezy But Happy

My mother came to me in a dream last night to tell me she's proud of me. I woke up strong today--inside, but my cold has been beating on me a bit. I intend to get the best of it though--and soon. Tonight, I'll sleep, eat something healthy, and be happy some more.

Sleep and Technology Deprived

I've had sick kids, and for various reasons--not all of them bad--I am sleep deprived. In addition, I am technology deprived and therefore cannot upload images or poems until I get things fixed. I'm sorry to my 1-2 fans who regularly check my blog and view my art and poetry. My artistic side is still here; it's just under the surface and waiting to rise.

Feedback

I've gotten lots of compliments on show/reading. Many people have responded very favorably to my work, and I, of course, find that quite encouraging. My hope now is that I can work some things out on my finances to make my life better. Also . . . well . . . I forgot what I was saying. I don't know, maybe I want things in my relationships to go better. Well, of course. But, ah, I remembered it: I want my technology to heal. I want a computer that works well, a jump drive that is healthy and happy. I want to be able to do my work in peace.

Most importantly though, I want to feel good about me. Sometimes I struggle with that. Sometimes it's difficult to be happy with myself--even when things are going well. Especially when things are going well? Insane? Yes. True? Yes.

I had weird conversations with people today that made me recall that yucky feeling of rejection again. Why do I struggle with that so? Why can't I just know I'm fucking great, and everyone loves me, and that's the end of it. Ha! I'll keep working on it.