Friday, September 15, 2006—Night

The wind is blowing. The wind is a constant in Kansas. Today was especially windy and dusty, but now the air is cool, and blows through my balcony door. The trees and tall decorative grasses in the courtyard sway and toss. I hear voices across the yard and see a woman sitting on the stoop with her dog. Even though it’s late it seems the wind has made some of us restless. I’m completely exhausted, yet I don’t feel like I can sleep. I watched my usual sitcoms: King of Queens, Frazier, and M*A*S*H. I’m usually asleep by now, but Bo, the cats, and I are all still active.

Syd went to her cousin’s birthday party for the night, so Bo and I went to a movie. We never get to do that, so I made it a point for us to go. We saw Cars. Now Bo’s playing a video game, and soon we’ll settle in for the night.

I haven’t felt my best today. I made myself get up before 11:00, but at the movies I was pretty sick. My students may have shared some sort of bug with me. Off and on I have read out of Think and Grow Rich. The book is very exciting to me. It reminds me of what I already know and gives me a new way to think about it. It shows me some of the areas in creating my life that I am not addressing as well, such as believing. I’m good at focusing on what I desire, but then I step back in disbelief and wonder how it could ever happen. As I meditate tonight, I will work on believing. It’s strange to miss something so obvious, but really it’s easy to miss.

My knees are sore, which is a sign of my weird illness. I’ve not been eating as healthy foods as I should, so it’s no wonder I don’t feel too well. I think that’s where I’ll focus tonight—on my health, feeling and looking great. Then I’ll let the breeze lull me to sleep.