Monday, September 11, 2006

I haven't been feeling very good about teaching lately, since I had a student complain to the Dean because I told him to be quiet during my lecture. Everything turned out just fine, and I wasn't worried about it, but it did disillusion me (again) as far as what it means to be a college instructor. But World Ventures has taught me--and this has been a lesson I have been trying to learn before World Ventures anyway--that if I don't feel good about what I'm doing, my results aren't going to be very good.

On a kind of side note: I forgot to mention in my list of interests that I am into Zen meditation. I am very young at this, and I practice with the Southwind Sangha when I can, and I practice my own variation of Zazen alone.

So, because of how I've been feeling about my classes, last night I realized that it was time for some meditation. For my own variation of Zazen, I tend to focus my thoughts, which is contrary to the teaching of watching one's thoughts pass. I nudge my thoughts toward a positive focus (when I am practicing at home. When I am practicing with the Sangha, I work toward stepping back and watching my thoughts). Therefore, last night I practiced a great deal of positive visualization and thankfulness, which helps me worry less and feel much better about my life. This also helps my life go much better--this outcome is what I am seeking, so that it perpetuates a cycle of being more and more joyful.

This morning as I was driving to class I decided to aid all of my students in "raising their vibrations" (I picked up this terminology from the book Ask and it is Given by the Hicks'). When I got to class, for today's journal entry, I assigned the students to list all the things they could think of for which they are grateful. I wrote my list at the same time. I explained to the students that as a younger person I remember being told to be grateful for what I had, but no one ever explained why I should be thankful (nor did they know). So I grew up thinking being grateful was like taking out the trash--a chore that I was told to do that had little to no reward (except that a judging God might look favorably upon it). But, I told them, I have learned lately that being thankful not only feels better, but in a very practical sense it determines my life circumstances in a positive direction. In other words, if I feel like shit, shitty things happen. If I feel good, good things happen.

We all wrote our lists and shared some of the things for which we're thankful. We had a high energy, positive, fun class after that. I don't think it's just coincidence.